A good day to you, lard lovers! Caffs.co.uk here, [formerly the National Greasy Caff Database] sending out to you unsolicited spam and chips* to alert you to a few changes.

First and foremost, we shall now be profitlessly trading as caffs.co.uk. This decision was taken so as not to offend the frying establishments that service our oiling requisites, and like the Artist Formerly Known as Prince we shall be known as the 'Website Formerly Known as the National Greasy Caff Database'. Catchy, what? We could go one step further and turn ourselves in to a symbol - an egg? Tell us what you think!

Secondly there have been some minor site changes, the main being an online version of Caff Nav™ no longer restricted to your navigation device. Simply type in your postcode in to the search bar beneath the caffs.co.uk logo tab, and hey presto the nearest 10 results are returned to you before you can say... erm. Something that takes a similar time to say as a quick database query? 'Egg and chips' maybe? You try your own.

C. Show-offs with an iPhone can now access caffs.co.uk from the comfort of their big hand. Simply go to caffs.co.uk and the ants under the flap will divert you to an iPhone version of the site including Caff Nav™ to locate your nearest caff, whilst walking 'round town with your cricket sweater draped over your shoulders. We suggest putting your iPhone back in your big pocket before entering the establishment to avoid receipt of a hi-viz kick in the Carhartts.

4.0. Researchers urgently required! If our hearts and purse could take it, we'd be driving the nation in our Rover 214 convertible experiencing fried fare as a servant to your information. But it can't be done and we need your contributions! There's a badge in it for you - that's right, a free badge for all caffs received**. We're aiming to pass the 100 figure shortly, and can only do it with your assistance. 100? There must be more caffs in the UK than that! If you know of one, do let us know.

Well that's it for now, many thank yous for your attention.

Lotsa luv,

caffs.co.uk x

* You have received this newsletter as you have on one occasion supplied caffs.co.uk, inkco.co.uk or cheekybeef.co.uk with your email address. We understand that this may not be something you want and by sending 'unsubscribe' to info@caffs.co.uk we will respectfully remove you from our list. NB: This will not secure removal of the camera we installed in your wheelie bin, you'll need to see the council about that.
** Badges will be sent out to prior contributors when received from the printers.