Address: Station Approach, Upper Padley, Grindleford, Derbyshire S32 2JA

This was the second attempt taken to arrive at this eatery. On the first, my friend James' 200k Saab [that's mileage, not value] decided to blow its own head gasket on the way over. Leaving us stranded and subject to much sign language in the middle of the road. 6 months later and in another, not so new Saab we set out in convoy again and arrived at the Grindleford.

My word they serve hefty portions! The featured photo is a meativore's platter and due to its size, you'd be forgiven for thinking you're looking at it through a telescope. Macca 15" plates brimming with fried fare as standard.

Now this servicing isn't without some conditions. The Grindleford exhibits a sign for every eventuality, and they exist to keep customers in their own place - the near side of the counter. The smooth running of a caff like this should be left to the experts, and any interfiddlery will just end in tears. We witnessed a hiker disobey this agreement and question his 'hash browns, eggs and beans' when he received an egg single [despite the fact it clearly says eggs plural on the board]. He made the mistake of daring to suggest that the board be changed and nearly ended up having his meal join him inside his tight, black leggings.

Know your place and all will be well done!

Contributor: Benny Hall

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