Address: The Stonebow 4-5, York, YO1 7NP

I'm confused, but not as confused as the Jorvik Cafe. They've the menu of a caff, super strong, dark splosh you could clean a coin in and a classic open-the-flap-yourself counter. However this is all trapped in a carpeted, 'terra Costa' surround. They've even got WiFi of all the scandalous things.

From the menu, the food sounds tops yet prices are steep. But this is York - a tourist capital - and the Jorvik Cafe is in a prime location. It's as close to the town's yolk as a council would normally let a caff. Which might explain its paninis and wraps, list of more than one coffee and 'latte lounge' area to sit with your shopping from Poundland.

Staff are very friendly and on my way out I spied one of those machines which keeps squash cold all day, like a mini water treatment plant, stirring the E numbers round and round.

Borderline, but still on our side of the fence. Best to keep on good terms with in case a war breaks out with the tea-rooms.

Contributor: Benny Hall

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